What. The. Hell. (otherwise known as Unloading Part 3)

I thought second semester was supposed to be relaxing.

WTF IS GOING ON?!!!?? There are probably like four people (not including myself) who want to kill me right now for shirking my responsibilities, and urrghgh I just want to relax and be lazy and have time to hang out with my (not many) friends!! But UPHHH I think I bit off more than I can chew. And this isn't even like... a lot... I'm just. Hmph. I think maybe it's the stupid research paper we have to write for AP Lit that's bringing on this wave of "ARGHHHH" and "IFJEWIPAFJPAWJEFPWNOOOOOOO". I don't know what's happening. What the heck.

Okay. It's okay. Just think positive. THINK POSITIVE (forceful! demanding! that works!). MUST. THINK. POSITIVE. Here it is. Okay. There's basically only one and a half weeks left of Mock Trial (don't get me wrong–I love it, but I've really been struggling to balance it with the other stuff going on). I've got all of the Rachmaninoff music memorized for Winter Percussion. Good good. NOO but I still have Bach and half of Beethoven (actually more like 7/8 now that I think about it) to memorize for my other piano stuff!! And I probably need to go back and re-memorize Prokofiev and the Chopin etude... I er... no... there are no positives for History Bowl seeing as I've studied probably a total of one hour collectively (from the beginning of... last school year...). I need to get my Calc grade up because I slacked off way too much first week (more like was gone the whole first week because of the freaking stomach flu which I totally embraced). And there's still the the Lit Mag formatting to finish. My goodness. What.

ALL THE NEGATIVES ARE HERE!
Two Mock Trial competitions this week?! On weekdays?? Why does that even happen?! Who made those rules?? Why do they not pity the poor students??

Orchestra and winter perc festivals one after the other?? WHY?? Why do they do that?

Okay pity party is over... (not) Time to do.. work. Aka just go to bed. Sleep solves stuff. It's like in "Weary Blues" when Hughes is like yeah sleep is that time when the weary blues cease and peace arrives for those few stolen moments.. sigh.

January Favorites!

Hello hello! This is my first time doing a "favorites" post and woohoo I've always wanted to do one because it seems so fun! And it's probably a good way for me to remember what I liked in the past in case I want to repurchase something (since I have a really awful memory). So here we go!

1. Tigi S Factor Smoothing Shampoo + Conditioner: I got this set after watching Zoella's hair care routine video and it is fantastic. I've heard that after you use a shampoo/conditioner for a while, your hair gets used to it somewhat and it's not quite as effective anymore, so I picked these up at Ulta and they make my hair feel so light and smooth. Also, they do smell like strawberries and cream, but the scent isn't super strong; it's quite subtle which is nice and non-headachey.

2. Bare Escentuals Buxom Mascara: I love this mascara so much. I've begun to notice the difference between high-end and drugstore mascaras (the ones I use, at least), which is that the high-end mascaras feel much less wet and more natural. This one in particular is no exception. I really love this mascara for an everyday one or two coat routine because it can be very light and natural, but it's also buildable. 

3. Revlon Colorstay in Normal/Dry: I finally caved and got this foundation after hearing so many rave reviews, and it does not disappoint. The coverage is indeed full with a matte finish, but it still feels very light and smooth. I like the formulation and how blendable it is. Sadly, I got it a shade too light so I have to go out and repurchase it now (the trouble with drugstores). 

4. NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Yogurt: Ah, these jumbo eye pencils make me so happy. They're super convenient and this one in particular is a lovely shimmery light brown shade that really opens up the eyes when applied to the inner corners. I love how creamy and smooth it is! Must get my hands on more.

5. Sage & Citrus Yankee Candle: Love this smell so much. Subtle yet soothing and ah... I love Yankee candles so much. You can just leave one open and the scent will permeate the room even without lighting the candle. I keep this one on my dresser. 

6. Nature Valley Trail Mix Fruit & Nut Chewy Granola Bar: Ugh is that a mouthful of a name or what? I'm not even sure if I got it right hahaha but these are delicious nonetheless. They're 140 calories per bar (is that good? I dunno) and ohhh my goodness let me just say it again... they're delicious. I can't explain it. They're just so good and the perfect size. They can fit in my jacket pocket! 

7. Clueless: I just watched this movie yesterday on Netflix and it's hilarious. I'm probably ridiculously behind since this is like a 90s cult classic, but oh man it's just great. Main character Cher is fantastically portrayed and so endearing and amusing. I did find the ending a bit abrupt and some of the loose ends not totally tied up, but whatever I'm not that stringent with movies anyway. It made me happy so yay I like it. 

Today.

She died today. 

There was this girl I 
knew–
not for long, though, for long enough, I don't know–
she had this 
long,
silky, 
dark hair that swished a little when she walked. 

She had pale skin. 
Her eyelashes were long but thin, sweeping thin lines
casting shadows
spidery
delicate and brittle and fragile–like her bones. 

Her fingers tapered and sharpened at the ends,
a marionette's fingers,
perhaps. 

I didn't know her well enough
to know if she was a nice person.

I scratched the surface and saw
an Asian girl, a pretty one too, with sharp
angles and hollowed cheeks.

I looked and when I looked I saw
a girl who listed a bit in the
wind
whose eyes had two eyelids each–like
an alligator–
a film that rarely lifted, like she was in her own
world.

They said that was part of her charm. 
The girl who dreamed too much.

She died today.

It was dark. Too dark. The air was a knife against slivers of exposed skin
peeking over the tops of collars, beneath hats, between layers of
scarf.
All it took was a step in the road, a film over the eyes, 
one wrong move.
On the spot, she died.

And I knew her, but not well enough. 

Current Beauty Wish List

I am horribly far behind with beauty products. It is quite sad, really. One of my New Year's Resolutions this year is to improve my makeup knowledge and application, so I need to branch out more–explore, divide and conquer! (I don't know.)

1. Nars Sheer Glow: This foundation has been around for quite some time, and I only recently saw it in person and swatched it on my hand. I was astounded by the incredibly beautiful sheen and glow of the product. I'm not really a big face product kind of girl, since I'd like to save that heavy application for when I'm older and in direr need; though, I do think it's a good idea to invest in the foundation of my makeup (pun intended). I haven't tried many foundations–just MAC Face and Body and Revlon Photoready–so I think I need to gather my bearings and test some more out. I have quite dry skin, so I think the dewy, more liquidy foundations would suit me better. 
   
2. Benefit Watt's Up/Stila Liquid Luminizer: I honestly have no idea what to do with highlighter and bronzer (more on that later). But, it appears to be a necessity as adding dimension to one's face is what elevates a makeup look to the next level. I'm quite interested in highlighter (not so much in bronzer, to be perfectly honest), and I've seen both of these products used quite often in YouTube videos, so I'd like to start with them! 
   
   
3. Stila Stay All Day Liquid Eyeliner: I'm still working on my liquid eyeliner skills, yo. It's really quite necessary, and ugh why do my eyelids crease like that. It's so inconvenient. Anyway, the Stila liquid eyeliner has been on my radar for a while, as I swatched it on my hand once and it did stay all day! The line goes on thinly and smoothly as well, which I love. Definitely need to pick this up next time I stop at Ulta or Sephora. 
   
4. Urban Decay Primer Potion: I see this all. The. Time. I hear rave reviews about it all. The. Time. I think it's a sign I need to get it in my possession. Pronto. 
   
5. Urban Decay Naked Palettes 1, 2, and/or 3: I'm not an eyeshadow expert. I'm a bit Lauren Conrad-ish in that way, because I tried that crease-blending thing once and it was a freaking nightmare. Well, easy does it, maybe... Naked seems to be a good place to start (that sounds hilarious). And I love nudes (that also sounds hilarious; apparently I'm really mature); not so much the bright shadows. 
   
6. Bourjois Colour Boost Lip Crayon: I have no idea where to get this because it's a UK product, but this look fantastic! Not as high maintenance as a lipstick, not as annoying as a lip gloss (I think, I hope). I just love this concept, and how pretty is that pink shade? 
   
7. Nars Bronzing Powder: Here comes the scary part... I have never used bronzer in my life. Ever. I like the idea of contouring my face, but I am so freaking clumsy (it's a miracle I can get eyeliner on my eyelid, for crying out loud) I'm scared I'm going to look like... an orange lamp. A nightmare, really. But I mean, I better try now before I have to prepare for some big-scale event or something. I dunno what I plan to do with my life, psh. 
   
8. MAC Lipstick: I've got my eye on shades Morning Rose, Speed Dial, Pink Pearl Pop, and Sunny Seoul in particular. As you can probably tell, I'm kind of a wimp with color. I also have fairly full lips (honestly probably my best feature), which can actually suck sometimes because then color is so obvious and can become overstated (I don't really know what I'm talking about though what). I think a lot of the final oomph of makeup, though, is the carriage. You've got to be one with your makeup look and carry it with confidence and poise; otherwise, any look will fall flat (once again, I don't really know what I'm saying). That being said, if I'm feeling bolder and more posh, I might try my hand with the famed Candy Yum Yum, Russian Red, and Vegas Volt. I think I have neutral undertones (must double check!), so I hope I don't have to pay attention to the whole yellow-red/blue-red tangent because I have no idea how to tell. 

   

   Sunny Seoul

   

   Candy Yum Yum

   
   
   
   
   
   

2nd Semester Bucket List

As someone who is giddy with the realization that I am FINALLY a second semester senior, it's time for me to compile an official list of second semester senior-type goals/adventures!

• Learn to play more sophisticated guitar :3
• Drive to Santana Row myself!
• Eat In n' Out
• GO TO PROM
• Do Benefit Fashion Show
• Go to HB Nationals
• Learn to drive stick shift
• Go for a test drive 
• Go to an open house and pretend to be an adult
• Watch Star Trek, Star Wars, and all that awesome nerdy stuff
• Catch up on Game of Thrones!
• Read A Song of Ice and Fire
• Enter writing contests (I am kicking myself still for never doing this!)
• Experiment more with makeup application (kind of a baby in this area LOL)
• Reorganize my room (sigh)

*will probably be updated periodically

Divergent!

In Beatrice Prior's dystopian Chicago world, society is divided into five factions, each dedicated to the cultivation of a particular virtue--Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). On an appointed day of every year, all sixteen-year-olds must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Beatrice, the decision is between staying with her family and being who she really is--she can't have both. So she makes a choice that surprises everyone, including herself. During the highly competitive initiation that follows, Beatrice renames herself Tris and struggles alongside her fellow initiates to live out the choice they have made. Together they must undergo extreme physical tests of endurance and intense psychological simulations, some with devastating consequences. As initiation transforms them all, Tris must determine who her friends really are--and where, exactly, a romance with a sometimes fascinating, sometimes exasperating boy fits into the life she's chosen. But Tris also has a secret, one she's kept hidden from everyone because she's been warned it can mean death. And as she discovers unrest and growing conflict that threaten to unravel her seemingly perfect society, Tris also learns that her secret might help her save the ones she loves . . . or it might destroy her.

Long-ass summary for this YA book (which I again read on a pdf FYI because there are no bookstores in my area anymore and there were like, freaking 300 holds for it at the library!). 

So, Divergent... at last we meet. Here is the novel that has garnered rave reviews and is going to be a major motion picture in March with some pretty kickass stars (Kate Winslet?! Maggie Q?!). I had to read the book. And no, I did not skim it the way I did with City of Bones; I actually sat myself down and read it. And I finished it in a day. This book is riveting. I'll get to the flaws in a moment, no worries, but I actually really love the writing style! The present tense fuels the novel and kind of spurs the reader on, and there's a fascinating and unique dystopian concept. I found Tris to be a relatable protagonist, which tends to be an important element for me. Divergent was definitely a page-turner. As for the message in this novel (there's one in every dystopian novel, dur), it doesn't exactly tell us anything new, but it certainly brings to attention that, well, the world simply isn't black and white. Humans can't be painted one way or another. We do not work that way, and, as Four said, we should strive to be all five of the virtues–honest, selfless, brave, kind, and intelligent. 

Here's where we get a bit murky. I said that I relate to the protagonist, Beatrice "Tris" Prior, and after I finished the novel, I went to check out other Goodreads users' reviews. Some said that she was hypocritical, childish, and mean. Well... :(! Of course, there were times when I disagreed with her actions and thoughts, but in her mean moments? I'm sorry to say that when she beat some undeserving bint into the ground or had some cruel thoughts, I was egging her on and going Yes yes yes!!! in my head. I know. I'm mature. And I definitely wouldn't belong in Amity. To those who didn't like the book partly because of Tris's character, however, I would have to say that protagonists aren't meant to be perfect. I mean, how many of us wanted to strangle Harry Potter in The Order of the Phoenix? How many of us can't stand a single character in Wuthering Heights? (Please tell me that's not just me...) That doesn't stop it from being a great book. See, if Tris hadn't had all these flaws, she'd be called a Mary-Sue. And here she is, simply human in all her hypocrisy and immaturity, and she's being beaten down anyway! There are definitely improvements that could be made to her character, but I don't think she's worth criticizing to such a harsh degree. 

As for my own criticisms... well. Let me just say first that I like this book much better than City of Bones, and maybe even moreso than the first Hunger Games. I did think, though, that the primary concept of the series was a little underdeveloped. I hope that the origins are further explored in the second and third books, because it feels a bit like we've only scratched the surface of this whole set-up. The Dauntless, Erudite, Abnegation, Amity, and Candor all seem a bit stereotyped, especially with their "initiation tests". Of course, this novel takes place at a time when the five divisions have evolved into something worse–not quite what they were meant to be. Even so, I would have liked to know more about what they were supposed to be. As for the main antagonism in the first novel, it all felt a bit random. I'm trying to discuss without giving too much away, so it's tough for me to articulate, but the sudden unfurling of hatred and vitriol... that did not feel so well-developed either. And one more thing (yeah, sorry, not done yet)–the title issue. Divergence. I do not really understand what is so unique about that. I get why it's a threat, theoretically, but why is it so rare?! I really hope those questions are answered in the remainder of the trilogy. I also thought that the book sped up way too quickly by the end, and I was literally like, no way! This is happening now?! That wasn't as important of an issue as the development problems, though. 

On a happier note, I really did enjoy reading Divergent and I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked the novel. It's been a while since I've enjoyed any YA novels (Maze Runner here I come!). I didn't know what to expect since I hadn't watched any trailers or even read the back summary for the book, and I might even recommend that for people approaching hyped-up books like this in the future. 

Anyway, I can't wait for the film to come out! Now, I have to bug some of my friends to read the book so I don't have to watch it alone, heh. I'm fairly confident that the film will be good, because the actors are solid (as far as I can tell), and the director seems to be a good one. I'm just worried the romance aspect will be marketed too heavily... I mean a clip of that scene with Tris and Four talking about his tattoos was already released and argh! Oh well. 

I'm going to go buy the other books now (I hate reading books on my phone). Happy reading!

P.S. HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

Saratoga Tales

Ahoy, feast your eyes! Before you is a fantastically brilliant (and absurd) piece written by myself and the lovely Gloria, in the style of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. Enjoy.

*UPDATE: This tale has garnered a Silver Key in the Scholastic Art&Writing Contest! Funny story–I contracted the stomach flu the day I submitted it (the day of the deadline LOL) and never sent in the teacher forms and so on, so I thought my entries were never submitted... but hey! Woohoo! 

General Prologue

Here begins the Booke of The Tales of Saratoga: When autumn unfurled upon the sanguine Saratoga folke, and crispy yellow leaves drifted down like flakes of dandruff, and bulbous, warty gourds filled the farmer’s market, the local finishing academy decided to host a school-wide night hike to Bald Mountain. The teachers sought chaperones, and I happened to be in town researching moss growth in Bigge Basin. The Literature teacher, familiar with my trustworthy soul, requested that I supervise the excursion. Thus, I had the profound pleasure of examining each and every one of these unique Saratogans, and I shall begin with the Bizarre Buffoons.

There were two of these mademoiselles, who were quite chatty and exuberant indeed. They were constantly of excellent disposition, as they had large imaginations with which to keep themselves occupied. They were quite literally ‘attached at the (chubby) hip,’ piercing the fresh air with giggly, unintelligible conversation, one having low intonation and the other high pitch. Indeed, they were an indulgent pair when it came to nosh, and kept food diaries to record their gobbling habits. They plowed and chowed through many a food joint, insatiable as they were. The only anguish either had known was the slight emptiness of a gut. Following their food pillaging, they flubbed about on the ground, full to the brim with good grub. The buffoons were known as Edith and Gladys.

Next came three marvelous Scrubs who kept a pointed distance from the bizarre buffoons. These boys were pale as the winter moon from lack of outdoor activity, and very much single. However, they were by no means ‘eligible bachelors,’ for their intellectual ambitions rendered them asexual. They had gloriously sonorous voices, honed by years of speech and debate. One could easily spot the three among the hikers by their drooping gaits. Regarded as surly and aloof, the Scrubs shrouded themselves in misty mystery. They were named Pongo Chen, Pingie Pwu, and Hansel Su.

A flock of Taiwanese mommies, known simply as the Zumba Clan, served as caboose to the procession. There were six of them, all sprightly and spry, full of jiggles and joy. Frequently found baking, quilting, and pestering their posterity, these beloved mothers amused themselves with dainty pastimes. They dressed strangely stylishly and sported swishy bobs, reminiscent of schoolgirl-hood. Each of them had a clueless, uptight husband of the squinty variety. These delightful ladies were, in turn, referred to as “____’s Mama.”

There were several Small Citizens of Saratoga High, fawned over by the entire female population. They were stolid and tranquil folk, unbearably adorable, though they were understandably resentful of their short statures. All of them wished to grow a foot or so taller. Thus, they tended not to enjoy the attention they received from females and attempted to avoid any topic on height, exhibiting notable discomfort whenever complimented for their cuteness. They were called Peter, Paul, and Saul.

A trio of Pudgy Pianists dragged their feet in perfect rhythm, humming Hummel and mewling Mozart, slowing the parade. The more bounteous the bottom, the more dedicated the pianist, after all. At school, they prioritized piano over people, scuttling off to the music building during passing for a couple moments of frantic practice. Stoic, ascetic, and masochistic, they considered themselves true “Exemplars of -ic,” and as a result were subtly snobbish toward their non-musical classmates. I knew them as Nikolai Chowsky, Boris Krushchev, and Yekaterina Yov.

The Alternatives consecrated themselves from the general school population as delegates of ‘different’. They dressed differently, thought differently (à la Apple), behaved differently – they were artists, and they knew it. Indeed, they were every bit as talented as they led people to believe, but their philosophical physiognomies often drove people away (perhaps an intended effect). They called themselves Burning Ermine, Twiggy, and Star Blanket.

Floating along and diffusing Victoria’s Secret body spray were three Fluffy Girls – girlfriend types, one might say. They were always clean and dressed in pastels, very soft and smooth to the touch. They were like docile, content white kittens, basking in boyfriend-bestowed affection. Though they orbited in a beau-centric universe, one could not be vexed by these lovely misses, who were sweet toward all who surrounded them. They were named Milano Cookeigh, Lily Lin, and Mary Sue Muffet.

The History Ballers I save for last, for in history lies the secrets of statecraft. They possessed vast knowledge in many areas – medieval Europe, ancient Rome, Persia, fine arts, East Asia – though their expertise extended beyond history. They dominated Physic, Alchemy, and Abacus by day, and hit the buzzers at night. Despite slight social ineptitude, the Ballers (and other Bowl folke from the realms of Quiz, Science, and Ethics) commanded respect for their tasteful treatment of trivia. They were simply History Ballers, subliminally serious and seriously sublime. And that was that.

On the great night-trek to Bald Mountain, these myriad specimens quibbled and quarreled in earnest. Sometimes, diversity can be a bit of a drawback. I proposed that they tell stories to celebrate their differences and see through one another’s eyes, for once. They went forth with my idea, strangely enough.

Prologue of the Bizarre Buffoons

Edith and Gladys volunteered to go first, bursting to impart the fruits of their identical imaginative trajectory. “We are very mindfully aware of our flaws,” they said knowingly. “Indeed, we feast voraciously on every bit of grub we encounter, and abuse adverbs, but we regret our behavior. We are attempting to control our stomachs, but it is a gradual task, you see.” The History Ballers and fluffy girls smiled amiably at the buffoons and gestured for them to proceed, while the scrubs - wary of their unusual proximity to these odd girls - excused themselves to the restroom. “We tell this story to exacerbate our troubles and remind ourselves to keep on the road to recovery. Let us begin.”

~~~

Here begins the tale of the Bizarre Buffoons: “Partake in the genius of the Bizarre Buffoons (or buffons, like muffins). This is the anthem of us anomalies–the neither/nors, the Bridget Joneses, the ravenous crumb-droppers, and the Prattling Non-Peaceholders. The tragedy begins thus:

One octagonal October day, Maestro Boyt’s cherished orchestra students, Judel Wee and Glodel Bee, decided to go off-campus for lunch. The portly pair burst forth from the rehearsal room (which reeked of sweat and cookie dough) and shuffled into Judel’s polar bear-colored shuttle.

Belting music from Les Mizzles all the way, Judel and Glodel cruised down Saratoga Aditusque toward the esteemed eatery 5Guize. The gluttonous pair were hungry as Hungarian Horntails, and upon entering 5Guize charged straight for the free-peanut barrels (which happened to be in the shape of 3D rectangular prisms). They inhaled piles of perfectly toasted peanuts without shedding the shells, and left a trail of peanut carcasses in their wake. Very cleverly, Judel snitched an extra cardboard boat (also of rectangular prismic form) for future sampling (she was ever so clever, once again).

Fleeing the 5Guize bell-hoppers, Judel and Glodel sought sanctuary in nearby Sprouts Supermarche. The bulk section dazzled them. Glodel, in the manner of Eve to Adam, convinced Judel of the legality of taste-testing (or so she thought). Judel deftly pocketed a peanut butter cup, as manipulated by Glodel. They both misappropriated several multi-colored Alpine mints. Scuttling over to the frozen food aisle, the pair came across antipasti cart. It was chock full of olives, white beans, and marinated mozzarella (called bocconcini), all laid out like jewels on display.

The bocconcini swam in an olive-oil bath, adorned with roasted red peppers and flecks of rich pesto. The charming white globes, so pure and pearlescent, beckoned Glodel and Judel. They could not break away–the lovely aroma of red pepper cornered and caressed them–they simply had to sample–they could not dilly-dally a moment longer!

Without waiting for the mocha mothers and pasty employees to evacuate adjacent aisles, the pair pounced. Swiftly, Judel extracted the pilfered peanut-boats. With a sweep of the tongs, Glodel procured two snack-sized spheres from the vat and deposited them into the cardboard chariot (which, again, happened to be a 3D rectangular prism).

Victoriously, they popped the bocconcini into their mouthies. As their fangs sunk into the soft flesh, they felt... Sparks. Nicholas Sparks. Familiar food-induced tingles, almost romantic in nature, erupted throughout their jiggly bodies. These decadent sensations catalyzed their serious sin: they took three more without a drop of gustatory guilt.

Glodel, referencing the nearby romaine, nudged Judel: ‘Lettuce fly, comrade!’ The thieves extracted yet another three bocconcini for the road and sprung out of Sprouts Supermarche. They tucked themselves into the polar bear-colored shuttle, and (oh what fun!) sped down Saratoga Aditusque, gobbling all the way (ha-ha-ha)!

Alas, Judel’s eyes were not on the road. As she turned into the school’s parking lot, the pair battled piggishly for the final cheese. Judel was just about to pop it into her mouth when Glodel used her stolen tongs to knock it out of her buddy’s flubby grip. Judel, in fierce reflexive reaction, floored the gas pedal and whipped the wheel violently to the left.

The polar bear-colored car careened past the office, soared up the quad steps, and crashed dramatically into the sweaty-smelling rehearsal room. Cinderblock crumbled like cookies. The great Chinese gong rolled out from the rubble and danced like a top on the quad. As its spinning expired with a final crash, the Snack Sneaks breathed their last breath.

A tiny ball of mozzarella, slightly melted, was discovered at the scene.”

~~~

The two buffoons exchanged piteous glances. “Let this be a lesson to you all – do not drive under the influence. Also, dairy has questionable side effects. Above all, control your id! Id temperare.” Their mouths tugged up symmetrically and simultaneously in ponderous humor. “This tale does bear some semblance to reality.”

Finis.

A note to the reader: We (the true writers of this Saratoga Tale) tried to make it as obvious as possible, but just in case, it is important to note that the weirdness and redundancy of the two buffoons’ tale is intentional. The strange sentences are meant to reflect the buffoonery of Edith and Gladys, as they would likely tell their tale in such a way.