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Wednesday, May 13, 2015

The College Life

I was pondering what to title this entry, since every inane idea that came to mind was... well, inane.

Anyway, as my freshman year in college has officially concluded, I've decided to try and sum it up, this time not with my quotes, but with others'. Mostly others'. Actually I haven't decided yet if I'm going to do another journal-entry-snippet post... It's quite likely I'll be too lazy to do so.

Here we go. Brace yourselves. Because this is what life at Rice is like, apparently. My life? (Special thanks to my friends for unwittingly providing quality comedy material.)

"I've gone to Starbucks four times these past four days." -Bailey

"I had a dream that ______ was my boyfriend and he lost a scuba diving slipper, so I was looking for him the whole time to return it to him, but then I had all these cacti and I couldn't fit them in my suitcase!" -Linda

"I'm already drunk." -Unintentionally dumb friend at 9 p.m.

"We need to find you more girl friends." -Austin

"If your life were a montage, it'd just be you eating a burger in slow motion." -Andrew

"Remember when we used to get lost coming back from Duncan?" -Linda again

"I was 45 minutes late to my exam." -Me :(

BONUS ROUND
Guess the speaker!
Name bank: 
Shaian
Andrew
Austin
Bailey
Meera
Akeem
Carolina
Linda
Tirso
(Can be used more than once)

  1. How are your ovaries?
  2. I woke up in a puddle of drool. 
  3. You should come eat with me otherwise I'm just going to eat dinner in my room. 
  4. Why are you always so hungry? You are a small person with a big appetite. 
  5. We're gonna get destroyed tonight. 
  6. Hey did you sleep last night? Oh... me neither... 
  7. It's only a mile... Eh, let's take an Uber there.
  8. I haven't been to my morning classes in two weeks!
  9. Where's the easy mac?? Can we bring down like 6 of them?
  10. Oh whoa you have friends! No no, I'm surprised and impressed only because I don't have any, you see.
  11. I gotta say, it feels good to have finally made it. 
  12. Are we playing Neopets tonight? 
  13. Hey, could you get me some dinner? Yeah, just bread and peanut butter.
  14. FREE FOOD!!!
  15. Sperm is so basic.
  16. Can I use your toaster oven?
  17. So we found this Smashburger outside in the lobby and I kind of want to eat it... can I use your toaster oven?
  18. We're such pieces of shit. 
Answers:
1. Shaian   2. Linda   3. Meera   4. Austin   5. Shaian/Tirso   6. Akeem   7. Linda   8. Shaian   9. Andrew   10. Meera   11. Tirso   12. Carolina   13. Bailey   14. Bailey   15. Linda   16. Andrew   17. Shaian (and Andrew)   18. Everyone.

Okay, in all seriousness though, I really had an amazing freshman year, and a lot of that has to do with the wonderful people I'm around daily. Rice is awesome. And I'm so excited to welcome the five (!!!) students from my high school joining me next year. 

Yehhhh NorCal. 

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